Corporate Rant

I don’t know about you, but I can’t take any more of the pseudo-intellectual corporate jargon being used these days.  It makes me want to puke.  If I hear one more “Kid” fresh out of college use the word Dialog in place of Talk, I am going to throat punch him.  I am debating the idea of carrying a horn into meetings and if I hear Synergy or Cross Functional let loose on the horn.  It seems to me that “World Class” and “Best Practice” rarely are.  They are typically an asinine and inane idea some douchebag copied from another douchebag because he/she thought it would make him/her look smart.  So I made up a fun little Mission Statement to make me smile. Take a deep breath before reading because it is quite a run-on sentence by design.  Enjoy.

MISSION STATEMENT:

“(The Company) will collaborate with the various cross functional corporate entities to create a synergistic strategy that encourages dialog across multiple disciplines and business units while leveraging our assets to capitalize on the combined efforts of divisional and regional champions to instill ownership among all corporate levels thereby enabling individual empowerment while sustaining diversity to foster a multi-level stratagem resulting in World Class customer service while maintaining our position as a global Best Environment workplace.”  

 

Update:  After reading several comments below (please check them out) I need to add a few more, but they are not “Mission Statement” type words or phrases.  Please feel free to comment and add your own.   “High Level Overview”,  “50,000 Foot View” & “Go Live Date”.

 

The Lion Tamer

Lion Tamer

She creates order from chaos

The master of all she surveys

Look into her eyes and you will know

She is not to be trifled with

She is fearless and focused

Neither teeth, claws nor muscle intimidate her

Your potential to harm is not her concern

She will crack her whip, and

You will jump or sit as instructed

Watch her in awe and wonder my friend

She is a tamer of life’s lions

 

The Past…..

She visited my dream last night

unexpected and unnerving

A haunting visage of the past

After more than two years

Does she still hate me?

I am poison to her happiness

Maybe she was a dream from the start

it almost feels like it now

Yet she still makes me smile,

if only in memories and dreams

and I miss her

Beyond Words

Poetry and writing

Reality and fiction

We all bare our hearts and souls in this place

Our fears, love, joy and pain

Shared with people we know

and with total strangers

But do they really hears us?

Can they feel what we write on the level we write it?

Can they make all our words about love, pain and sex superfluous?

We only have our words to express ourselves here

But there is something deeper out there

And it’s real

So

In this season of love and peace

I wish that all will find that special someone who hears you

Beyond words

My Secret Stash

Inconspicuous at first glance

but look more closely

do you see the tab?

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The small file to my immediate right

has important day-to-day paperwork

things I need close at hand

including my Secret Stash

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You may be asking yourself at this point…

What is it? Booze, pills, something more sinister?

Oh, I assure you it’s something I crave almost daily

My Secret Stash

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Why I am still in decent shape is beyond me!!!

Good genetics or fast metabolism…maybe both.  LOL

Swamp Drainer

*** This goes out to everyone struggling with too much going on in their life at the moment.  Remember, eventually it WILL pass….  It was inspired by a conversation with BB that reminded me of an old saying I heard my father use.

Alligators

She stood, surrounded

Hungry, evil eyes peering at her

Through murky waters

The stench overpowering yet oddly sweet

Decaying vegetation and rotting flesh

 

She stood, surrounded

Wanting to scream or cry

To flee for her life

Shaking from fear and anger

Defiant and determined

 

She stood, surrounded

Blood stained teeth glistened 

Waiting to devour her whole

Ripping her limb from limb

Staining murky waters red

 

She stood, surrounded

Feeling weak, yet strong

Up to her ass in alligators

She would not succumb

She would drain this damn swamp

Once and for all