Corporate Rant

I don’t know about you, but I can’t take any more of the pseudo-intellectual corporate jargon being used these days.  It makes me want to puke.  If I hear one more “Kid” fresh out of college use the word Dialog in place of Talk, I am going to throat punch him.  I am debating the idea of carrying a horn into meetings and if I hear Synergy or Cross Functional let loose on the horn.  It seems to me that “World Class” and “Best Practice” rarely are.  They are typically an asinine and inane idea some douchebag copied from another douchebag because he/she thought it would make him/her look smart.  So I made up a fun little Mission Statement to make me smile. Take a deep breath before reading because it is quite a run-on sentence by design.  Enjoy.

MISSION STATEMENT:

“(The Company) will collaborate with the various cross functional corporate entities to create a synergistic strategy that encourages dialog across multiple disciplines and business units while leveraging our assets to capitalize on the combined efforts of divisional and regional champions to instill ownership among all corporate levels thereby enabling individual empowerment while sustaining diversity to foster a multi-level stratagem resulting in World Class customer service while maintaining our position as a global Best Environment workplace.”  

 

Update:  After reading several comments below (please check them out) I need to add a few more, but they are not “Mission Statement” type words or phrases.  Please feel free to comment and add your own.   “High Level Overview”,  “50,000 Foot View” & “Go Live Date”.

 

The Words She Doesn’t Say

It’s been said

thought cannot exist

without words

 

Words….

the basis of thought

and language

right?

 

Quick, think of something

anything at all

without thinking of the word for that thing

 

Can you?

Did you?

 

Maybe

Maybe not

 

If the above is true

there is one thing I know

and it defies reason and logic

 

I hear the words she doesn’t say

 

The thoughts she has

without a single syllable or intonation

 

From miles away

yet they are clear to me

resonating in my head and heart

 

What a wonderful gift

we share, she and I

Words

Without words

Words

Am I alone or do random words pop into your head too??

It keeps me awake at night. Words, Rhyme, Loss, Love, Regret and Joy.  All the words that describe these continually bounce around in my mind.  Like a load of socks in the drier. You know there are matching pairs in there someplace, but the sonsabitches just aren’t that easy to find at first glance. They are not all “rare” words. They are words that come to me for no apparent reason.   Driving in the car and BAM… Picayune comes to mind and stays there until the next word pushes it out.

It’s like my mind is an aqueous sponge suffused with obstreperous verbiage. Tempestuously churning from the first moment of morning lucidity to the last second of cognition.  It must be my parent’s “faul”. Dad is a devotee of words and Mom is a teacher.  Nature vs. Nurture….. How about both.  🙂  Nothing special here, just a bunch of words that make me smile.

Juxtaposition

Ambivalent

Jejune

Picayune

Abloom

Jocund

Voluptuous

Buttercupaliciousness

Odious

Sot

Circuitous

Timorous

Inculcate

Beguile

Supplant

Laborious

Fuck

Fucker

Shit

Hell

Damn

Cocksuckermotherfuckerpieceofshitassholeprickbastardtitsbitch

Kiss

Cuddlefuck

LOVE

I could go on ad infinitum, but what’s the point???  They are simply words.  It is up to us to ascribe meaning to them.

Question: Is thought dependent upon words or are words dependent upon thought?  Is one possible without the other?

Ponder it folks…..  In the end it is all superfluous, is it not?