Reminds me of L & T……

Kill Bill 2

Just watched Kill Bill 2 (again) the other day and this line from the end of the movie caught my attention.

Uma Thurman’s character (The Bride) just told David Carradine’s character (Bill) that she was a bad person after basically exploding his heart with her fingers.  This was his response, knowing he was about to die.

I just sat there smiling to myself and thought, “Yep, it’s just like that.”

There are two incredible women that share this amazingly wonderful trait.  😉

Maybe it explains why we can care so much for certain people even when they hurts us.

On my mind….

I’ve been very busy lately with work and life, but have wrapped myself in a cocoon of music the entire time.  Here a few lines from songs I’ve been playing, singing and ruminating on for the last few weeks and months.

(I left out Dragula by Rob Zombie because that is only when I’m in a “Fuck You” mood.

– Dig through the ditches, burn through the witches. Slam in the back of my Dragula-   “Freak” rock about the Munster’s car, gotta love it.   SHIT, so much for leaving it out.  If you don’t like it…Fuck you!  Hahahaha

  • People fall in love in mysterious ways.  Maybe just the touch of a hand. 
  • I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
  • Something about you now, I can’t quite figure out. Everything she does is beautiful. Everything she does is right….. And I don’t know why I can’t keep my eyes off of you.
  • What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you.
  • But girl you make it hard to be faithful, With the lips of an angel.
  • All the miles that separate, disappear now when I’m dreamin’ of your face.  I’m here without you baby, but you’re still on my lonely mind.

     –  Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah,

        ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you


  • I can see through you, See to the real you.
  • If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman (or Batman)  
  • And I don’t want the world to see me ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand When everything’s made to be broken I just want you to know who I am


Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud

Edwin McCain – I’ll Be

Lifehouse – You and Me

Hinder – Lips of an Angel

Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

3 Doors Down – Here Without You

Blue October – Hate Me

Stained – Ouside

3 Doors Down – Kryptonite

Goo Goo Dolls – Iris

On Being Happy for Others….

Why is it that some people find it so difficult to compliment others or be happy for someone else. I hope you are not one of these people. You know who I am talking about…. The person that always seems to find fault in the new “thing” you bought. Those subtle cut downs like, “Why did you get that color?” OR “I guess if you like that model, it’s okay”, “Why do you drink THAT brand of coffee?”, “I guess if that’s all you can afford…”. This is the passive cut down that is subversive and rude. Many people walk away from these interactions without knowing why they feel so bad about something they were originally happy about.

A similar type of person is one that simply cannot find it within him/herself to be happy for others. They feel the need to openly cut people down in a futile attempt to boost their own self-worth or soothe their fragile ego. They belittle and bully others to compensate for their personal shortcomings. Thinking that if they cut someone else down, it will lift them up. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is like a drug that gives a high. The more you use it, the more that is required to give the high. At some point it becomes your master turning you into a bitter shell of a man/woman. You convince yourself it is due to jealousy of your intelligence, talent or beauty. In your warped view of yourself, you start to rationalize your behavior… because after all, you ARE superior to others…Right? They don’t get you because you are on another plain than they are.

These people are children at heart. They have never developed beyond the mental capacity of a 7yr old. I don’t say that as a slam. It is simply an observation. Think about it for a moment. We were all taught as children that we are not the center of the universe. That the world does not revolve around us. We were taught this because, as a child, the world DOES revolve around us. It is only when we grow that we are shown the truth. Sadly for some, this learning never occurs and they are stuck in a child-like state. Always expecting the world to cater to their every need and desire. To tell them they are the best, the smartest, the fastest, the most beautiful. If they do not get this affirmation, they attack and belittle others in a never-ending attempt to sate their hunger to be the center of the universe.

These people seem to think that being happy for others is form a weakness and strength comes from being an ass. The truth is that it is the exact opposite.

Being confidently humble does not come naturally for many people. It is usually a learned skill. Sometimes taught by parents or grandparents and sometimes learned the hard way when life smacks you in the face. The not-so-secret secret is to humble yourself with confidence.

Ask yourself: Is hating a rich man going to make you wealthy? Is finding fault with your neighbor’s new car going to put a new car in your driveway? Is cutting someone down for going to make you feel better about yourself?   If you answered Yes to any of these questions, I feel sorry for you. If you answered No, good for you. Always strive to be cognizant of the words you chose and the message you communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Be genuinely happy for others when they are happy and support them when they are down. This is not rocket science folks. It is simply part of being a mature adult.

With that said, I am not a wishy washy, hug your enemy person and intentionally crossing me is a serious mistake. What I’m saying is don’t fool yourself into believing knocking others down has the inverse effect on you. The fact of the matter is, it lessens you as a person.  You will find that being happy for others will increase your personal happiness exponentially. Then again, I realize there are people that make the choice to be unhappy. For that I have no answer.

NOTE: This rant has been brought to you by the ever humble, nottooold2. It has not been proof-read or checked for grammatical errors. It is a rant and by its very nature simply flowed from my mind through my fingers to your computer or phone screen. It flip flops from first person to third person and back…and all around.  Whatever. 

Enjoy….or not. I’m good with either.  🙂

Hate Me


Thanks to bruisedbelly for helping me to post a song. (I’m a dork in a lot of ways, but her coolness prevailed)

In addition, she reminded me about THIS song.  It really captures the way I am starting to feel.

That maybe it’s good the woman I hurt for so long hates me in some way in order to find what is truly good for her.

Remembering all tears she cried believing I was “the one” for so long, I can’t say “I’m sorry” near enough.

Every Day I Think of You (Still)

Every Day

Every day

Every day I think about you, still

Randomly coming to mind

and I smile

Time passes and days drift by

as you float in and out of my consciousness

there is always a sense of you

I hope you are happy

I pray that you are

You deserve real, true happiness

11 years today

and I can’t even call or e-mail to say “Congrats!”

Your threat, or was it a promise,

No, it was a threat….

is etched in my mind

But beyond the threat, I respect your wishes

I respect YOU

55 days from today is your birthday

Your 30th

I wish I could at least say “Happy B-Day”

That you didn’t say it to me is irrelevant

I feel no animosity toward you

You are still You to me

and I hate what I am to you

So if you ever read this,

know that I think of you still

You dance in my mind like a dream

Melancholy mixed with joy

Sadness mixed with elation

Good mixed with bad

I feel older somehow

weather beaten and grey

the void left by my failure

will never be filled because I don’t want it to be

it is my penance, my burden, my yoke, my crucifix

Every day I think of you, still

and I smile




Things change

Usually for the better


No, seriously…..


And if they don’t……



PS: There is always a silver lining and she makes me smile.


Batman Smile




I hate what HE did to you

I hate how you see yourself because of HIM

I hate that HE poisoned your mind

I hate that HE took your innocence

I hate that HE damaged your self-worth

I hate that YOU accept it as your lot in life

I hate that YOU see yourself as a pretty piece of furniture

I hate that YOU feel it is your role

I hate that YOU are eye candy for fancy people

I hate that YOU don’t see your true worth

I hate that I failed you

I hate that I allow this to happen

I hate that my weakness became your excuse

I hate that I let you go

I hate all of these things

I will never hate YOU