Learning to Walk

winterwarlock

Someone very dear to me is going through a difficult time right now

She is a Rock Star in my eyes

One of the most amazing people I’ve ever known

She is learning to “Walk” on her own again

It isn’t easy and it will take effort

She will stumble and possibly fall

but she’s strong in her current fragile state

Heaviness is difficult for me (not that it’s about me)

I feel a need to lighten the moment with silliness

and frivolity

So, my dear….

With all that you are going through

know that I’m here

and remember

in order to walk

Put one foot in front of the other…..(come on, you know the words)

Photo: Winter Warlock / Rankin-Bass – Santa Claus is coming to Town  (1970)

When I said……

 

Every Day 2

When I said….

That you would be the one to leave

That I’m not a Knight in Shining Armor

That you would find someone better

That you would want someone more than you did me

That you would love someone more than you did me

That you would be truly happy

That I hoped for all these things for you

That it would hurt this badly to lose you

That you are, and always were Worth it

That you are not just a place to put it

That I would miss you so damn much

That I would think of you every day, EVERY DAY

That I would feel you in music

That embers of you would haunt and burn me still

That I would order (and not eat) an Olive burger just to imagine you enjoying it across from me

That I would miss your jaw popping as you chewed

That I would finally cry – for you

 

You didn’t believe me then.

Do you believe me now?

 

 

** Please no comments on the Jensen Ackles pic (Ooops, sorry– Dean Winchester pic.  Hahaha)  It’s and inside thing (in case she ever reads this) that might cause her to call me a fucker under her breath, but still she’ll still smile.  Technically the entire piece is an inside thing, in addition to being cathartic in some degree for me.  Some days are more difficult than others and this weekend was ponderous.  Knowing she’s forgotten provides some degree of comfort because it means she is happy.  It also means I wasn’t as important in her life as she believed me to be.  She is blessed with object constancy issues and I am not a constant.  The fact is, I was blessed to be given what she gave of herself for as long as she could. She is perfect.  Damn, this turned into it’s own little sub-post.  LOL    Oh well, my blog my fucking rules.