She Wanted to Soar

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She said she wanted to soar

to drift on a warm summer breeze.

How could I refuse such a request?

With grown-up hands a child-like plane I did craft.

The perfect vehicle to carry her anywhere her heart desired

for paper is all that is needed to carry a dream or a spirit.

 

 

Reminds me of L & T……

Kill Bill 2

Just watched Kill Bill 2 (again) the other day and this line from the end of the movie caught my attention.

Uma Thurman’s character (The Bride) just told David Carradine’s character (Bill) that she was a bad person after basically exploding his heart with her fingers.  This was his response, knowing he was about to die.

I just sat there smiling to myself and thought, “Yep, it’s just like that.”

There are two incredible women that share this amazingly wonderful trait.  😉

Maybe it explains why we can care so much for certain people even when they hurts us.

Happy Birthday Tricia

Happy Birthday Tricia!!!

I’ve always wanted for you what you’ve wanted for yourself
and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
and in the meantime I lost myself
in the meantime I lost myself
I’m sorry I lost myself – I am

Lyrics: Alanis Morrisette – That Particular Time

I am Me (again)

Sleeping lion

I am the me that once was

The me I believe you once loved

The me I believe you once respected

Before I lost control

Control I never lose

But I did, because I lost You

I should never have shown you my weakness

The weakness you begged to see

The weakness I should have kept hidden from you

I knew better than to show it

So I trusted you to hold it

But you advertised it to the world

That is what hurts the most

All your demons I held

I still hold, privately, securely, safely and always will

They are safe with me

If only the opposite were true

But it isn’t, so….

These days I sit in reflective silence

Softly pondering the “what if’s” and “why’s” of it all

But the thoughts do not haunt me anymore

I am once again in control

I am ME once more

Stoic and poised as I should be

But the genie is out of your heart’s bottle

And you are not the type to forget

Or forgive

In the quiet moments of solitude

In the songs on the radio

And the constant melody in my head

You will forever dance

I found myself because of you

I lost myself because of you

I lost my mind for you

I regained control for my sanity

And now I can rest peacefully

Love always

Better to be silent…..

Foot in mouth1

Sometimes something seems just fine

It sounds perfect in your head

Then it leaves your lips or fingers

and you wish you were dead

 

An old saying reads as such,

Better to be silent and thought a fool

than to speak and remove all doubt

 

How easy that sounds

but in practice it is so very difficult

 

The disconnect between mouth and mind

rules the verbiage that we vomit

 

So here is the dilemma

do we speak our mind

at the risk being misunderstood

 

No, I say we do not

we speak what is in our head

what is in our heart

what will be, will be

 

Just remember to wash your feet………….

 

 

Every Day I Think of You (Still)

Every Day

Every day

Every day I think about you, still

Randomly coming to mind

and I smile

Time passes and days drift by

as you float in and out of my consciousness

there is always a sense of you

I hope you are happy

I pray that you are

You deserve real, true happiness

11 years today

and I can’t even call or e-mail to say “Congrats!”

Your threat, or was it a promise,

No, it was a threat….

is etched in my mind

But beyond the threat, I respect your wishes

I respect YOU

55 days from today is your birthday

Your 30th

I wish I could at least say “Happy B-Day”

That you didn’t say it to me is irrelevant

I feel no animosity toward you

You are still You to me

and I hate what I am to you

So if you ever read this,

know that I think of you still

You dance in my mind like a dream

Melancholy mixed with joy

Sadness mixed with elation

Good mixed with bad

I feel older somehow

weather beaten and grey

the void left by my failure

will never be filled because I don’t want it to be

it is my penance, my burden, my yoke, my crucifix

Every day I think of you, still

and I smile