On Being Happy for Others….

Why is it that some people find it so difficult to compliment others or be happy for someone else. I hope you are not one of these people. You know who I am talking about…. The person that always seems to find fault in the new “thing” you bought. Those subtle cut downs like, “Why did you get that color?” OR “I guess if you like that model, it’s okay”, “Why do you drink THAT brand of coffee?”, “I guess if that’s all you can afford…”. This is the passive cut down that is subversive and rude. Many people walk away from these interactions without knowing why they feel so bad about something they were originally happy about.

A similar type of person is one that simply cannot find it within him/herself to be happy for others. They feel the need to openly cut people down in a futile attempt to boost their own self-worth or soothe their fragile ego. They belittle and bully others to compensate for their personal shortcomings. Thinking that if they cut someone else down, it will lift them up. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is like a drug that gives a high. The more you use it, the more that is required to give the high. At some point it becomes your master turning you into a bitter shell of a man/woman. You convince yourself it is due to jealousy of your intelligence, talent or beauty. In your warped view of yourself, you start to rationalize your behavior… because after all, you ARE superior to others…Right? They don’t get you because you are on another plain than they are.

These people are children at heart. They have never developed beyond the mental capacity of a 7yr old. I don’t say that as a slam. It is simply an observation. Think about it for a moment. We were all taught as children that we are not the center of the universe. That the world does not revolve around us. We were taught this because, as a child, the world DOES revolve around us. It is only when we grow that we are shown the truth. Sadly for some, this learning never occurs and they are stuck in a child-like state. Always expecting the world to cater to their every need and desire. To tell them they are the best, the smartest, the fastest, the most beautiful. If they do not get this affirmation, they attack and belittle others in a never-ending attempt to sate their hunger to be the center of the universe.

These people seem to think that being happy for others is form a weakness and strength comes from being an ass. The truth is that it is the exact opposite.

Being confidently humble does not come naturally for many people. It is usually a learned skill. Sometimes taught by parents or grandparents and sometimes learned the hard way when life smacks you in the face. The not-so-secret secret is to humble yourself with confidence.

Ask yourself: Is hating a rich man going to make you wealthy? Is finding fault with your neighbor’s new car going to put a new car in your driveway? Is cutting someone down for going to make you feel better about yourself?   If you answered Yes to any of these questions, I feel sorry for you. If you answered No, good for you. Always strive to be cognizant of the words you chose and the message you communicate both verbally and non-verbally. Be genuinely happy for others when they are happy and support them when they are down. This is not rocket science folks. It is simply part of being a mature adult.

With that said, I am not a wishy washy, hug your enemy person and intentionally crossing me is a serious mistake. What I’m saying is don’t fool yourself into believing knocking others down has the inverse effect on you. The fact of the matter is, it lessens you as a person.  You will find that being happy for others will increase your personal happiness exponentially. Then again, I realize there are people that make the choice to be unhappy. For that I have no answer.

NOTE: This rant has been brought to you by the ever humble, nottooold2. It has not been proof-read or checked for grammatical errors. It is a rant and by its very nature simply flowed from my mind through my fingers to your computer or phone screen. It flip flops from first person to third person and back…and all around.  Whatever. 

Enjoy….or not. I’m good with either.  🙂

23 thoughts on “On Being Happy for Others….

  1. Nice rant 🙂 I have to deal with a few of these people in my life, always little digs to make themselves feel superior. I used to let it hurt me, now I just laugh at their antics or make a sarcastic comment back, which usually confuses them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I enjoy flat out asking them why they feel the need to do it and ask if it helps them feel better by doing it. 99% of the time they back-track and try to clarify what they were “really” trying to say. It’s comical. Most rude people and bullies are not accustomed to answering directly and immediately for their behavior. I find it entertaining. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know what is behind this characteristic…narcissism? My true love was very much this way, it seemed to somehow reflect on his own worth if someone excelled, esp. me, lol. I got used to it.


  3. Hey, this is what blogs are for: ranting! I have to wonder if people who are hyper-critical do it as being insecure. (No, I’m not knocking on your blog’s title.) But I wonder if people who persist in criticism are attempting to break others down so that they feel better about themselves. It might be difficult for them to admit others are better than them at something or — God forbid — happier. I find it very sad when people are hyper-critical, as they’re such downers. People make mistakes. Allow them to do so, then lift them up.

    Liked by 1 person

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