When I said….
That you would be the one to leave
That I’m not a Knight in Shining Armor
That you would find someone better
That you would want someone more than you did me
That you would love someone more than you did me
That you would be truly happy
That I hoped for all these things for you
That it would hurt this badly to lose you
That you are, and always were Worth it
That you are not just a place to put it
That I would miss you so damn much
That I would think of you every day, EVERY DAY
That I would feel you in music
That embers of you would haunt and burn me still
That I would order (and not eat) an Olive burger just to imagine you enjoying it across from me
That I would miss your jaw popping as you chewed
That I would finally cry – for you
You didn’t believe me then.
Do you believe me now?
** Please no comments on the Jensen Ackles pic (Ooops, sorry T – Dean Winchester pic. Hahaha) It’s and inside thing (in case she ever reads this) that might cause her to call me a fucker under her breath, but still she’ll still smile. Technically the entire piece is an inside thing, in addition to being cathartic in some degree for me. Some days are more difficult than others and this weekend was ponderous. Knowing she’s forgotten provides some degree of comfort because it means she is happy. It also means I wasn’t as important in her life as she believed me to be. She is blessed with object constancy issues and I am not a constant. The fact is, I was blessed to be given what she gave of herself for as long as she could. She is perfect. Damn, this turned into it’s own little sub-post. LOL Oh well, my blog my fucking rules.