When I said……


Every Day 2

When I said….

That you would be the one to leave

That I’m not a Knight in Shining Armor

That you would find someone better

That you would want someone more than you did me

That you would love someone more than you did me

That you would be truly happy

That I hoped for all these things for you

That it would hurt this badly to lose you

That you are, and always were Worth it

That you are not just a place to put it

That I would miss you so damn much

That I would think of you every day, EVERY DAY

That I would feel you in music

That embers of you would haunt and burn me still

That I would order (and not eat) an Olive burger just to imagine you enjoying it across from me

That I would miss your jaw popping as you chewed

That I would finally cry – for you


You didn’t believe me then.

Do you believe me now?



** Please no comments on the Jensen Ackles pic (Ooops, sorry– Dean Winchester pic.  Hahaha)  It’s and inside thing (in case she ever reads this) that might cause her to call me a fucker under her breath, but still she’ll still smile.  Technically the entire piece is an inside thing, in addition to being cathartic in some degree for me.  Some days are more difficult than others and this weekend was ponderous.  Knowing she’s forgotten provides some degree of comfort because it means she is happy.  It also means I wasn’t as important in her life as she believed me to be.  She is blessed with object constancy issues and I am not a constant.  The fact is, I was blessed to be given what she gave of herself for as long as she could. She is perfect.  Damn, this turned into it’s own little sub-post.  LOL    Oh well, my blog my fucking rules.

18 thoughts on “When I said……

  1. Yeah, they’re your rules here.. and man, what a powerful poem. That had me stunned. I hope writing the poem was therapeutic for you, to get that down in writing.


  2. Such a sorrowful poem. And yet i can sense that glimmer of light that comes from cleansing your demons. Sometimes good comes from bad.

    Sometimes you just need a couple more beers. Let me buy those for you. Cheers!


      • Your timing sucks!! I leave on the 19th for a 12 day trip to singapore. And beer there is $24 a pint. So your quota is down to one. Plus $3,000 in airfare. So I’ll take a rain check. Let’s try for another time. Hope work’s settled down.


      • Dammit. LOL No worries. Be safe and have fun.
        It doesn’t sound like you make it to DTW much.
        I’m sure “they” won’t run out of beer. Yes, the new job is going well. They needed a lot of organization and leadership. Funny how those two little things can change they dynamic of a business. Take care my friend.


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