Every Day I Think of You (Still)

Every Day

Every day

Every day I think about you, still

Randomly coming to mind

and I smile

Time passes and days drift by

as you float in and out of my consciousness

there is always a sense of you

I hope you are happy

I pray that you are

You deserve real, true happiness

11 years today

and I can’t even call or e-mail to say “Congrats!”

Your threat, or was it a promise,

No, it was a threat….

is etched in my mind

But beyond the threat, I respect your wishes

I respect YOU

55 days from today is your birthday

Your 30th

I wish I could at least say “Happy B-Day”

That you didn’t say it to me is irrelevant

I feel no animosity toward you

You are still You to me

and I hate what I am to you

So if you ever read this,

know that I think of you still

You dance in my mind like a dream

Melancholy mixed with joy

Sadness mixed with elation

Good mixed with bad

I feel older somehow

weather beaten and grey

the void left by my failure

will never be filled because I don’t want it to be

it is my penance, my burden, my yoke, my crucifix

Every day I think of you, still

and I smile

11 thoughts on “Every Day I Think of You (Still)

  1. I understand the sentiment so eloquently penned here. It is amazing how different we all are but yet have so much in common.
    Speaking of which — my latest post, For Love of the Game, might interest you. But only when you have time!!
    Be well, Mr. Baseball.

    Like

  2. Hmm. How great to be able to release (and yet not destroy) feelings by the written word. Your eloquence, given your business, is remarkable. You are missed around here. Well, by me anyway. I can’t speak for others. But I’m pretty sure they miss you too. 🙂

    Like

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