Testosterone Poisoning

I hope you all don’t mind and will indulge me this little rant.  If not, oh well…… here it comes anyway.  🙂


What is it about teenage boys that makes their brain cease to function?  Are they even capable of entertaining a cogent thought at all? Can they connect the same dots they used to connect when they were younger?  The answer to these questions is an emphatic NO.  Oh sure, they have glimmers of intelligence, but they are fully capable of walking through their day completely oblivious to even the most obvious things.

Example:  I came home early today and as the garage door was opening I noticed the lights were on. I thought, “Okay, no biggie” and went in the house only to find the lights on in the Mudroom(2), Kitchen(5), Dining room(1), Hall(2), Main bath (3 lights, 1 fan), and a bedroom(1).  14 lights and a fan. REALLY??!!!  WTH??!!!   You might ask, “Well Mr. Nottooold2, wasn’t someone home doing laundry or vacuuming or cleaning the tile?  Maybe just watching TV or something? Otherwise why would all those lights have been on?”  What a great question, but NO. Not a soul in the house. So I think to myself, “Maybe they were chilly and didn’t want to turn the A/C down because I might be mad they messed with the thermostat.  So to compensate they turned on all the lights for warmth.”  Nah, that’s crazy talk because it involves some form of reason and a smidgeon of knowledge of electricity  and thermal dynamics.

It didn’t used to be this way. When they were younger all the lights were off when they left a room. Empty soda cans went in the recycling bin when they were finished and chips bags were disposed of properly. What happened to my perfect little boys?  (Remember, I have 3 of them and they aren’t so little anymore).  I know what happened to them.

Testosterone Poisoning!!   It has to be.  Before their voices changed, before all the body hair and the 30+ minute showers they were smart pleasant boys.  Now they are dumb as a stump and don’t talk much.  Instead they grunt like cavemen. They smell bad and seem to need a lot of “alone” time.  Okay fine, sure I was once one of them…. but come the hell on, this is crazy.  Grow up already and learn to manage the symptoms of your affliction. Testosterone Poisoning is not fatal (Unless one of them grunts at me again.  LOL).  It’s a damn good thing I love them, because if I didn’t I’d really hate them right now.  🙂    With all that said, they are 3 of the nicest, most polite young men you will ever meet and I am extremely proud of them.

Being a dad is cool, but I can’t wait to be a grandpa and pay them back.    “What, your dad won’t buy you a pony?  Grandpa will get you one to take home. Mommy and Daddy won’t mind at all.”   Muahahahaha

19 thoughts on “Testosterone Poisoning

    • A girl too!! Wow, you are my hero!!
      BB and I were just talking about that. I would be such a softy with a daughter. Especially if she were the “baby”. She would just melt my heart with a look. I just know myself well enough to know it. And as BB said, I would be the dad on the porch with the shotgun when the boys pick her up for a date. 🙂 “Have her home early, son.” LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Loved your post! And I also feel your pain. I have a 17 year old, who by most accounts is responsible, but he has a horrible habit of waiting until the very last second to wash his clothes, or prepare for an assignment. Then, suddenly…it’s everyone’s emergency. He just can’t get it through his head that preparation would alleviate the drama. And then there’s his girlfriend…and all that comes with that. You are not alone!


    • Thanks for the comment and it’s nice to know there are others. I knew it was coming some day and prepared for it as well as possible, but sometimes the intellectual paralysis that 3 straight “A” students can display is utterly amazing. Knowing it’s temporary is what keeps me hanging in there. 🙂


  2. I thank God every damned day that he gave me all boys. I’d kill my husband if we had a daughter. That “Daddy’s Princess” thing would be more than my fragile state of mind could handle. 😉


  3. I have to shamefully admit, it’s more “teenage syndrome” than testosterone poisoning. Speaking as a teen who actually prides themselves in being mature, I’m even worse than your lads sound sometimes. Heck, we are a lazy bunch, but at least we’re not disrespectful right :)??


  4. i cannot say I have had these issues – but my boys have lived in two different homes for the past 13 years. One is now away at college and the other is shopping for colleges – he is the one who does not talk much, however, he is much like his dad in that department, so I kind of expected it. if they succumbed to testosterone poisoning, i did not notice.


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